We enter relationships with expectations, often without discussing “my” expectations with a partner in a relationship, and without learning what their expectations are. We also don’t honestly evaluate our expectations and whether they are realistic.
When our expectations of a partner are not being met or fulfilled, we commonly seek to control or manipulate them or “the relationship” to produce an outcome I think is desirable. This will always put me in conflict with the other person.
We tend to live in a very “self”- centered world. I tend to see others as being part of, or in relation to, “my” world. Everyone and everything is often perceived in relation to “my” likes and dislikes. This is not a formula for success.
Spiritual growth means an expanding concern for others and more thoughts of giving rather than taking. But this requires a shift in perspective, one where we see our relationship partners as fellow pilgrims on a journey towards our highest good – which is something more important than just each other.
A couple of yoga texts I shared:
He is a perfect yogi who, by comparison to his own self, sees the true equality of all beings, both in their happiness and distress, O Arjuna! Bhagavad-gītā 6.32
The Supreme Soul is very satisfied with the transcendentalist when he greets other people with tolerance, mercy, friendship and equality. Bhāgavata Purāṇa 4.11.13
