Q&A – Meditation for Inner Peace and Balance

The form of meditation, where we engage with transcendental sounds, spiritual sound, like this singing, this is called kirtan. That was the name for this form of meditation. And it is stated in the ancient texts that during this time in which we live, sometime referred to as the age of chaos, quarrel, and confusion—does this sound like fun or what? [Audience inaudible] Well, we may be. I’m talking about something on a bit bigger scale. They call it Kali Yuga, the age of chaos, quarrel, and confusion. So, this particular form of meditation, this singing meditation, kirtan, has a unique potency and is the most applicable form of meditation for the age.

So, anybody have a question? Anything goes, by the way? Was I too mean?

Audience: Inaudile

Acharya das: No. I know I’m not. Yeah.

Audience: What do you mean anything goes?

Acharya das: Anything goes? Anything goes, any kind of question that somebody wants to ask. And I tell people always, no such thing as a silly question or a stupid question. They’re all important if you want to seek some clarification that will help you understand more or move forward in your spiritual journey. Yes? Mic delivery.

Audience: So, I’ve recently started practicing Kirtan meditation, and what I feel, that I’m getting disconnected from the world. I’m struggling to resonate with the things that’s going around. How do we deal with this?

Acharya das: We often don’t want to pay attention to the fact—actually everybody feels somewhat disconnected. We’re busily engaged outwardly: relationships, friendships, our social media or whatever. We’re engaged. But when we’re often alone, it’s like, “What am I doing? What is this for? What’s this all about?” The process of meditation, what it will do, it will actually bring into focus an appreciation of what is the actual purpose of human life.

We understand human life is unique. All other life forms, it’s all the same spiritual beings, but the nature of the body, the spiritual being is more covered in lower species. So, they’re just really impulsively acting on desires and disturbances and things from the body and the mind. The human form of life is considered unique because we can ask the question, “Who am I really? What’s this all about? What is life actually for?”

Before we really get into exploring that—A person can have this experience of feeling somehow disconnected. That’s not a bad thing. That means we’re becoming more aware of the reality that the body I have on is not actually me. It’s a vehicle that I’m using. But I may not have a sharp and clear understanding of that. It may not be really clear to me.

When I understand that this human form of life is meant for the purpose of self-realization and God-realization, this is actually what I should be doing—of course, having a body in this world brings with it all kinds of responsibilities and duties. We are connected to families, we’re connected to societies, and everything. We don’t choose to run away from that. But when I understand that my main job is to awaken this understanding of who I am as a spiritual being and begin to live guided by that understanding, it means that my relationship with those around me will become spiritually directed rather than materially directed, where I’m just seeking to exploit those around me for my own happiness, and if they don’t make me happy, I get really bummed at them or pissed and shout at them or whatever. When my understanding changes, when my purpose for living becomes more into focus, then I won’t feel like an alien. I won’t feel so disconnected. I’ll understand. It’ll become clear to me.

And while outwardly I may live a life that appears to be no different than anybody else’s, when somebody actually gets to know you, it’s like, whoa, you’re living a different kind of life. You have a different focus. There is different sort of meaning and purpose than before. And as that becomes clearer, then we don’t feel disconnected. We understand that this world is a wonderful thing that I can utilize to help me grow spiritually.

If I see this world as simply mine to exploit and I try to suck everything I can out of it all the time, you’re going to feel quite isolated, if you’re honest. Because the world is not for that purpose. Does that answer the question, okay? Thank you.

It’s not a requirement to have a question, but I’ll just sit here patiently for a couple of minutes and see if anybody else has got one. Yes.

Audience: I also have a question about depression. [ACD: About depression.] Yeah, and what’s your thoughts on medication? Like antidepressants and…

Acharya das: Medication or meditation?

Audience: Well, yeah. Well, yeah. Healing. But healing through medication.

Acharya das: Meditation or medication?

Audience: Medication.

Acharya das: Medication. I have to be extremely careful. We live in a world where if I’m too honest—I’m going to get severely harassed because I don’t have any professional qualifications. But—I think that people that have a severe and chronic condition, they do need, sometimes they do need some form of help to get grounded so you can sort of perform, get going with your life.

So, I had a person that I met many years ago, and he was so, he suffered from such chronic mental health issues. I mean, like, he would get psychotic episodes, he’d be hospitalized, he’d be hallucinating and just like off, off, it—just crazy, it was just like really bad. And a very dear friend who was a spiritual mentor also for this person told him, “You know, if you need to take what the doctor is advising to ground you so that you can become more able to function in life and do the things that need to be done, and to make it so that you can be more focused in your spiritual practice, then you should do that.”

And my experience in dealing with him, and I mean, he was on lithium, which is real hardcore stuff, but over a period of about 15 years, gradually he changed so much that, close to the time that he died, he wasn’t taking anything at all. He had become able to really manage. So, the way the yogis look at it, my body and my mind are like a car. And my job is to utilize the car to go from point A to point B. And I should have a clear understanding what that journey is and what is point A to point B. And I understand that if I get up to 35, 40 kilometers an hour, maybe it starts smoking, it’s going to overheat, the wheels are going to all start wobbling. I’ve got to slow down, and I’ve got to use it within the reasonable limits of that vehicle. And when a person develops this kind of understanding, then they can deal with their situation in a way that doesn’t wig them out. They don’t lose the plot. They understand, “I’m dealing with a problematic vehicle, and I have to use it within certain limitations, and it will get me from A to B. Maybe not as fast as if it was a better vehicle, you know, but this is what I’m dealing with. I put up with it.” It’s the journey that’s going to be important, not to be overly focused on the vehicle.

And so, when people can develop that kind of understanding, it makes it so that they become more equipped and able to deal with things. It is a reality and—just the opinion of so many experts, there is a tendency to over-prescribe stuff, and that can become unhealthy and breed dependencies where I can’t even function without. I witnessed that with my mother, right? She had a minor surgery, and she was kind of a highly strung person, and she was wigging out a little bit. The doctor put her on Valium, and it was meant to be so she could get rest and heal. And eight years later, moving up from Valium to, what was it, something else? And I was telling her, like, I was just a kid, but I’m going like, “Mum, this is not cool. This was meant to be just to help you. Now you’ve become utterly dependent and you’re fragile without it. You’re even afraid not…” So, it’s something that, it’s a difficult subject, and we need to be the drivers in our life.

Audience: I guess the awareness that you lose sometimes when you are on medication, of— it’s very easy to sort of be distracted by that, and you go off on a different path.

Acharya das: I mean just broadly speaking one of the reasons that in the yoga processes, they did not utilize any form of mind-altering substance or intoxicants, because it actually empowers the mind to run your life. You become now someone that’s just following the mind everywhere. The mind is actually taking the lead. Whereas an ideal situation is when you are the one determining the content of your mind, how you’re going to utilize it, what you’re going to think about, what are you going to do today, how you’re going to deal with things. It’s an infinitely more healthy situation if you are the one controlling the mind and directing the mind rather than being enslaved almost by it.

Audience: Thank you very much. Like retraining the mind. Like retraining [Acd: Yeah] the mind.

Acharya das: So yeah, the mind is very close to us, and it’s very powerful, and as I said, stated in these ancient texts, it can be your greatest friend or your greatest enemy. And then they specify, “An unbridled mind is the greatest enemy.” So, just like the bridle on a horse, which you’re using to direct it, if you just let go of the reins, and let the horse just do what it wants to do, that is precarious.

Audience: Thank you very much.

Acharya das: You’re very welcome. And you know what? It’s actually really liberating when a person discovers that they’re not the mind. It’s just like, oh my God. I can actually step back from it. I don’t have to be overly invested in—this whole trip now about getting in touch with your emotions and everything, it’s like [facial expression of distress.] Please, this is a formula for unhappiness. Your emotions are not God. You shouldn’t be just responding to whatever emotions.

I generally—I run some courses on mindfulness and meditation and prisons and things. And one of the things I try to teach them: Guys, when you are in a heightened state—and this is applicable to everyone—when you are in a heightened state of emotions, whether those are positive or negative, don’t say anything. Don’t act. Don’t make any decision. Go away, calm the you-know-what down, whether you have to do some breathing and do some chanting or whatever. And when you’re actually completely calmed down, think, “How should I respond to this person or this situation? What is actually going to be in my best interest? What’s going to make my life even a little bit better? Or prevent it from getting worse? What do I need to do?” And then come back and engage and speak compassionately but firmly and find a way to make things better. Be more focused on outcomes than just responding to your emotions. That’s pitiful. That’s a formula for enormous unhappiness.

Yes?

Audience:  I don’t have a lot of voice. I think it sort of follows on, about emotions and being able to be a bit self-aware and reflective before you act. But my question is really about grief because it’s such because it’s such a [Acd: About? Grief.] grief, it’s a very strong emotion. So, I’d really like a bit more on that.

Acharya: This might be a little difficult.

Well, it depends on how we—number one, how we define grief? Sadness or deep sadness, I don’t categorize as grief. What I often associate with grief is wishing it were different, not wanting things to be the way they are. And you know the serenity prayer? The first line, “Grant me the serenity to accept those things I cannot change.” There’s a fundamental formula in a lot of these spiritual traditions from the East, and it’s the basic idea that ignorance equals pain and suffering. If in my life I’m feeling tremendous pain and suffering, it will be because I am embracing something that’s fundamentally not true. And that can be the idea—I mean, a lot of it is associated with losing somebody that’s really close to you, and then to keep revisiting, like not wanting to accept that or not being able to let go and embrace what has happened. Feeling sad is fine, but constantly going to that place, “I wish it wasn’t like this, I wish it wasn’t like this,” but it is like this. And partly, we are not trained to think and to understand that the time that we have in this world, in this particular lifetime, is limited, as it is with everybody else. And we don’t know why things happen necessarily the way they do.

But sometimes we’re visited—I mean, one of the most painful things for people is to lose a child. More than anything else, it’s sort of like it seems as if it’s so unfair, and we wish that it hadn’t happened. It’s okay to visit that place, but you can’t live in that space. For whatever reason, things happen, and I have to accept that reality, and I have to live my life in a way that honors that person, maybe that I’ve lost. And the experience can actually open us to look for deeper meaning, for something that’s more spiritual, that sort of brings clarity to my life and to these things that have happened.

So, first thing is no one ever dies, and that’s a shocking idea, that you don’t die, you can’t die. You continue to exist. Maybe not where I was existing before, but you continue to exist. You don’t go and—it’s not like you’ve disappeared. But my understanding is now I’ve become somewhat separated. I don’t have the physical contact with that person. But it’s not like they have died. The body manifests death when you, the source of life in that body, leave. When you leave and you bring life with you, the life is lent to the body, and it’s lent to the mind. But it’s not part of your body and not part of your mind. When you, the living being, leaves, the life leaves as well. The body dies, but the person doesn’t.

Some years ago I had a friend—I’ll just share this: I had a friend who was in India. I was doing some work there for a Malaysian company. And one of my friends, he was a Muslim guy—Boy this is gonna be lo—I’ll try and keep it short. And I had gone to Mumbai to—we had a meeting with a company there, and I had gone to his place early. He liked this kind of meditation and everything. He was really into it, his wife and family also. And he asked me, “Can we just visit my dad? He’s in the hospital.” We went there. He introduced me. I greeted him.

And I noticed the doctor come in and stand in the doorway. And so, the mother and my friend got up and went. So, I excused myself and I followed. And the doctor told him. “The tests have come back. He’s got stage four bone cancer. He doesn’t have very much longer to live. There’s nothing we can do for him. I suggest we can just try to manage pain, and he’s going to be better off in a home-type environment than in a hospital.”

So, then the doctor went, and the mother and son—then the other son just showed up. He’d come in from South Africa, and they’re having a conversation, and they’re saying because he’s so afraid of the word cancer, and he’s so afraid of dying, we can’t tell him what the result is. It blew my mind, and I was so upset with my friend. I told him, “Kanvir, you can’t do this. You can’t allow this to happen. He’s not an animal. He will know that it’s happening. He will know. People know that they are going to experience death.” And I said, “You know, you have to tell him, and you have to be kind and assist him to get this time that’s left to him, get everything in order. He may want to see people that he has offended, and he may want to ask forgiveness. Others may want to approach him and ask forgiveness for things that they’ve done in their life.”

So he talked to his mom and brother, and they finally agreed that, yeah, the dad needs to know. So, then I asked—because I was thinking, I’ll help, “Who—” and this was the first time I met the mother and the brother also. So, I asked, “Who’s going to tell him?” And they all freaked out, and they were pointing at each other. Nobody wanted to do it. And me, I’d just been there like 30 minutes. Then they asked me, “Can you do it?” And I’m going like, “Oh my gods, how—I don’t want to do this. It’s not very appropriate.” But they were begging me, so I agreed to do it.

So I sat at his bedside and held his hand. And I told him that, “You know, you saw the doctor come in, the results are back, and the situation is not good, the prognosis is not good. You have a serious situation.” And then I told him, “But don’t worry, you’re not going to die.” And the wife looked at me like, what the hell? I said, “No, you’re not going to die. You’re going to be fine. You are going to have to leave this body because of the disease condition. You’re not going to be able to continue to reside here. But don’t be afraid. This is natural. This is normal. Everybody is going to experience this. And what I suggest, if”—since they were Muslim, I said, “Why don’t you make yourself comfortable at home, hear appropriate verses from the Quran occasionally during the day.” They have 99 names of God, of Allah. And I said, “You should recite these names of God. You should forgive those who have harmed you and seek forgiveness from those that you have harmed. And rest, knowing that you are going to be okay. You are going to be okay. There is nothing to worry about.”

And of course there were some tears coming down his cheek. Then he squeezed my hand very tightly and he told me, “Thank you very much.” You know, he completely embraced what I had told him, and in that time, he’s taken it on board and followed the advice.

So that’s what I mean by the difference between being—when we don’t know, when we’re ignorant of things, it really does lead to more pain. When we understand, yes, there will be sadness, there may be even deep sadness, but one won’t be constantly revisiting, “I wish it wouldn’t happen, I wish it didn’t happen.” We can do that a little bit, but don’t make that a go-to. That’s unhealthy. Is that helpful? I hope I haven’t caused you any more pain. But I know that this knowledge is liberating. This understanding frees us from so much suffering.

Okay? We good? So, for those who would like to find out more, we’ve got a few people here that can share information. I think somebody will come and share. There are online resources that we have. My attempt to help my spiritual teachers, I try to share these things also online. My name, Acharyadas(one word).com. Got lots of resources there, including guided meditations and stuff.

These people that have put on the event are part of the Australian School of Meditation and Yoga. Heaps of online resources also, so can help you on your journey. With that, I would like to thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to share with you. I personally feel this was probably infinitely more valuable than a Halloween party.